indecorum

The Scotts have a more sensitive measure of sobriety.

Video requires sound for best enjoyment.

Thanks to Vanessa for passing this along (she’s getting to be a regular)!

Local Copy

Did you know that Cheerleading is the most dangerous sport in the nation? The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reported roughly 25,000 cheerleading-related injuries requiring emergency care were reported in 2001.

This video sheds some light on the hidden dangers of cheerleading:

Next up: carpal tunnel syndrome and other repetitive stress disorders induced by cup-stacking.

From http://www.ubersite.com/m/50268

A typical weekend of mayhem for me, living the high life, partying it up, rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle etc. Friday night was so wild it is untrue a Will & Grace double header and two, count ‘em, two coffees! Before bed!! I mean that is wild enough but I also slept in my socks. I know what you are all thinking -this boy is a mentalist – but I would rather die than live slow.

I had to work Saturday and didn’t finish until late. Some of my friends were out to dinner to celebrate Paul’s birthday. I was rushing to try and meet up but didn’t leave the office until gone nine. Which sucked a big fat one. With suspicious purple botches and a strange cheesy smell. Thats how much it sucked.

Fortunately most of my chums are borderline alcoholics so they wanted to go out and ‘have a quick pint’ first. This gave me time to meet them at the restaurant. I drove like a bat out of hell (blind, eating flies, squeaking and making lavish amounts of guano) and arrived at the place at around nine thirty. They hadn’t arrived as yet so I sat at the bar and had a light aperitif. As I was polishing off the second bottle of vodka my chums arrived.
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This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John:
“Hi! I’m John, and this is Mary.”

Mary:
“Hi! We’re here to invite you to come kiss Hank’s ass with us.”

Me:
“Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who’s Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?”
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Bush- and anybody-but-Bush-lovers can come together and revel in this movie from JibJab.com. Click the picture on the linked page, and you’ll get a great summary of the incumbent and challengers strengths and wekanesses to the tune of “This Land is My Land.” If this is any indication of what’s to come in the next few months, I think we’re in for an entertaining time.

Sound required for optimal enjoyment. Lyrics rated PG-13.

Thanks go to Jason Neidleman for passing the link along!

FLIGHT COMMANDER?S HIGH RISK BRIEFING CHECKLIST FOR SKYDIVING

1. Do you understand the risks involved in the sport of skydiving ?
2. Did you receive your initial skydiving training at a USPA group member Skydiving Center?
3. Each time you skydive, are you sure that the equipment that you are using is compatible and within your experience limitations?

When checking your equipment, it may be wise to consider things omitted from standard checklists, as demonstrated here.

Requires movie player, but not sound. No gore.

Enjoy!

Though he made a decent showing on HBO a few months back, the best of Ali G remains in England. This guy has pulled off amazing interviews with Butros-Butros Ghali, Newt Gingrich, and Jenna Jameson. One of his best is with Victoria (Posh Spice) and David (bend it like) Beckham.

Ali: What about that picture of her in the black pants with the slit in
her dress that come up well high?
Apparently that picture if you look really close you can actually see a
tiny bit of camel tuft?

More shows available on Bit Torrent and google.

Note: No disrespect to your bitch…Local Copy

One of the better movies I’ve come across in the last few months. Requires sound and 10 minutes of your time. The first minute is really all that is necessary, after that it’s just an excercise in film making. Enjoy!

Home Base

Editor’s Note: Looks like the mirror broke, here’s a link to the original on ifilm.com

If you guys don’t know what ninja’s are really about, go here. (Caution: annoying music)

I found the following textlogs on the Best of Craigslist. I searched around and found a few more, and have condensed the funniest ones into the following compendium. Enjoy, and be sure to read the rest in the Extended Entry!

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey…
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don’t **** with me biznitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
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Chez Hugo is officially retired as of last Friday at 11:30 PM. I detailed the story to Thad in this recent email that he was nice enough to format for the website.

In the process of writing this email, an old story entitled “The Move” occurred to me, and I have ressurected it here. This story will induce uncontrolable laughter in those who apreciate corporal humor. The file needs to be formatted for easier reading, any help out there?

Editor’s Note: Formatted, but not for the faint of heart…attached below

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