indecorum

A friend sent me the linked video of kids at a dance-off. Watch the second kid…

Been workin’ on my moves
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Although Ms. Jackson is the poster child for wardrobe malfunctions, this is not such an uncommon occurence. It happens to other people as well. It is so well known now that you can get your own t-shirt on the topic. Hell, you can even get the dolls now!

Now the question is no longer ‘does it happen?’, but rather… ‘how or why does it happen?’

Here’s how
Warning: This is a 2.3MB video – view only if you have a good connection… and sound
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A man walks downstairs one morning to get himself a cup of coffee before enjoying the beautiful weather on this particular saturday. On his way down the stairs he looks out into his front yard and sees a huge gorilla sitting in the big tree in his front yard. He calls his wife over to have her take a look and sure enough – it’s a big, grouchy looking gorilla camped out in their tree.

The couple quickly start looking for something to help them get this monster sized ape out of their tree, so they look in the yellow pages and miraculously find: Ape Removal Services. They call the only number on the list and get an appointment.

About 20 minutes later a big black van screeches to a halt in their driveway and the man driving comes knocking on the door. They open the door and show him the gorilla. The guy says, “Yeah, no problem. I can get this guy out of there, but I’m going to need one of you to help me”. The husband hesitantly volunteers and follows the man to the back of the van. Out of the van the ape removal expert pulls a ladder, a 6’ stick, a pair of handcuffs, a pitbull and a gun.

The husband is a little puzzled and asks how those things are going to help them get the gorilla down? “Well”, says the guy: “I’ll use the ladder to get into the tree and the stick to poke the gorilla so he’ll lose his balance and falls down. Once that happens, the pitbull will go straight for him and all you have to do is slap the cuffs on him when he goes to cover his balls!”.

“Eh, what’s the gun for then?” asks the husband and the ape removal guy says “Well, if the gorilla throws ME out of the tree, you shoot the damn dog”.

You know you’ve heard some dude throw out the ol’ “I’m not a player… I just crush a lot” line and you’ve seen the licence plate spelling “STR8 G” rollin’ ‘round da hood… or maybe not. But everybody loves a pimp – I mean look at Snoop Dogg; the man is skin and bones and by no measure a handsome man. He could not safely walk around without a body guard to protect him from hungry yatches. They love him – they SAY they don’t, but the truth is another. Reco’nize.

Well, here’s your chance to work on your pimp style and get your pimp name. First step to pimphood is style… and a good pimp name.

Peace Out Gs!

You have probably seen sites like fark.com where they totally mutilate simple pictures to depict all kinds of crazy things. Some of those creations are quite creative and well done.

Shannon sent me this link today which is quite funny and well done. Take a look when you get 5 minutes – this is safe for work by the way. Fark.com is not always safe from boobies.

Much love and funny faces,
Dane.

This little cartoon has been hanging in my cube for 10 months and it still makes me laugh. Right up there with Gary Larson.

Camel Toe... Most people don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the site of a tight pair of pants on a girl with no underwear, but you know that you have all seen it. It happens even to the best of them – even Britney!

You can call it what you want, and anyone knows at least a couple of dirty names for this bit of anatomy, but I have included a little mp3 file that one of Joe and Kendall’s friends (Joey Nieman!!) sent to us which contains one or two suggestions.

Here it is, sung to the crisp notes of Beach Boys’ “Kokomo”...

A concept fully appreciated by any guy who has ever gone on a date is generally referred to as ‘the wingman’. The guy who will go with you to the bar and hang out with the hottie’s friend who she brought along to not be alone, or the guy you need so desperately for the double date.

He is worth his weight in gold… seriously.

In the spirit of dating and beers, here is Coors Light’s Tribute to the Wingman. This clip is no fun without sound, so get a pair of earphones and try not to laugh at this catchy song….

PS. The video is a little large, so if you’re just interested in the song, click here... Rock On!

If you have not yet had the opportunity to apply the wingman technique, here is a brief theory on the use of a wingman. Enjoy.

Sincerely, Dane.

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK: – Indubitably – Innovative – Preliminary – Proliferation – Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: – Specificity – British Constitution – Passive-aggressive disorder – Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK: – Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. – Nope, no more beer for me. – Sorry, but you’re not really my type. – Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight. – Oh, I just couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing

Another pearl from Shannon this morning. A website named WeLoveTheIraqiInformationMinister.com has been erected in honor of the Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (dubbed M.S.S.) who through his statements has been given much attention on the web.

If you have 5 minutes I encourage you to read some of the things he has been quoted for saying… some pretty funny things about mercenaries, coalition suicides at the gates of Baghdad and not knowing anything about how SCUD missiles were fired at Kuwait…

Ed: pdf copy of cnn article