Democrat Donkey

  • 7:00P – Opening flag burning.
  • 7:15P – Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
  • 7:30P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 7:30P – Nonreligious prayer and worship led by Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
  • 8:00P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 8:05P – Ceremonial tree hugging.
  • 8:15P – Gay wedding with Barney Frank presiding.
  • 8:30P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 8:35P – Free Saddam Rally organized by Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.
  • 8:45P – Speech on “The Calibre of American Troops in Iraq” by Slapstick Comic Senator John Kerry.
  • 9:00P – Keynote speech on “The Proper Etiquette for Surrender” by French President Jacques Chirac.
  • 9:15P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 9:20P – Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.

  • 9:30P – Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay by Sean Penn.
  • 9:40P – A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton on “Why I Dislike the Military.”
  • 9:45P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 9:50P – Dan Rather presented “Truth in Broadcasting” award, presented by Michael Moore.
  • 9:55P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 10:00P – Expose on “How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld Brought Down the World Trade Center Towers” by Howard Dean.
  • 10:30P – Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahmadinejad.
  • 11:00P – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 11:05P – Al Gore reinvents the internet.
  • 11:15P – A short talk on “Our Troops are War Criminals” by Senator John Kerry.
  • 11:30P – Coronation of Mrs. Rodham Clinton.
  • 12:00A – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
  • 12:05A – Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.