President Bush worried about the efficiency of his agencies decides to test them. He takes a large area of woodland and fences it off into three equal areas and releases a red squirrel into each. He gives the first area to the FBI, the second to the CIA and the third to the NYPD with the mission of finding the squirrel in a week.
The week elapses and he asks the FBI how they were doing. The FBI say that they mobilized the Dept of The Environment, the local police, The Forestry Commission in addition posting wanted signs in local towns and on the tree. The Squirrel however was still ‘at large’.
The Spokesman for the CIA is up next and after calling in ‘Grey Opps’, asked for a napalm strike. The officer then pushes across a clear plastic envelope containing greasy grey ashes saying that they believe that to be Red Squirrel residue.
The President then turns the the Chief of the New York Police Dept, who then nods to a junior officer. The door to the room opens and two police officers walk in holding a handcuffed, bruised and blooded badger between them.
The Chief then jabs his night-stick into the badgers ribs and says “Tell him what you told me”. The badger then screams “I’m a red squirrel, I’m a red squirrel!”.