A man walks downstairs one morning to get himself a cup of coffee before enjoying the beautiful weather on this particular saturday. On his way down the stairs he looks out into his front yard and sees a huge gorilla sitting in the big tree in his front yard. He calls his wife over to have her take a look and sure enough – it’s a big, grouchy looking gorilla camped out in their tree.
The couple quickly start looking for something to help them get this monster sized ape out of their tree, so they look in the yellow pages and miraculously find: Ape Removal Services. They call the only number on the list and get an appointment.
About 20 minutes later a big black van screeches to a halt in their driveway and the man driving comes knocking on the door. They open the door and show him the gorilla. The guy says, “Yeah, no problem. I can get this guy out of there, but I’m going to need one of you to help me”. The husband hesitantly volunteers and follows the man to the back of the van. Out of the van the ape removal expert pulls a ladder, a 6’ stick, a pair of handcuffs, a pitbull and a gun.
The husband is a little puzzled and asks how those things are going to help them get the gorilla down? “Well”, says the guy: “I’ll use the ladder to get into the tree and the stick to poke the gorilla so he’ll lose his balance and falls down. Once that happens, the pitbull will go straight for him and all you have to do is slap the cuffs on him when he goes to cover his balls!”.
“Eh, what’s the gun for then?” asks the husband and the ape removal guy says “Well, if the gorilla throws ME out of the tree, you shoot the damn dog”.
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